Today is the last of the second Xmas trinity, also known as Boxing Day. Like Thanksgiving traditions of thankfulness, I try to review my life to identify those things that I am most grateful for. Certainly, my dear family in all its permutations is at the top of the list.
These so close by, others, My dear son, Lan, so far away, like his brothers Allie and Noah, and their kids Anina, Wren, Moose, and Paige. Not to mention nascent little plain-old-baby Strawberry waiting in its mom’s humongous belly. Yesterday I had the joy of spending Generosity, which was so generously spread by my in laws, Mike and Lisa Gray, with their delightful daughters, Maddie and Emma (Rey’s idols) and Mike and Dave’s mom and Dad, Lisa and Ziggy. For such a solitary old fart, that’s anything but Eleanor Rigby territory, and I’m so grateful to have been welcomed into this extended family here in the frozen north.
I was struck as I reviewed my previous posts for Gratitude how a couple of themes emerged. One was that I have been so poor since I ‘retired’ and moved east, I have never been able to meet the standard of generosity I so often espouse herein. I guess the sting of feeling that scrooge-ish must be tied to the other recurring thread: doubting the purpose and meaning of this whole Holly Days enterprise, especially the time-consuming and difficult process of writing these daily posts that I try so hard to make authentic and meaningful. By the 5th day, I’ve put up a handful of posts and inevitably check out the stats reported by the wordpress.com algorithm. I’m always disappointed and a bit humiliated to see that only one or two among my family and friends have visited the site, and I’m often discouraged enough to consider abandoning the whole project.
But I never do. I really see Holly Days as a work of art, and in that as a gift to the world. For as fretful as I may feel in the creation of these posts and their screaming-into-the-void quality, I know they are indeed a gift to posterity, at the least. I think the chances are pretty good that some great grandchild of mine will someday find this, and by reading through these many thousands of words and images, come to know me more deeply than any of the other of their distant progenitors. I guess I place them here hoping to offer those distant spawn some granpapaly advice long after I am gone. As usual, the duality of a gift as an unselfish wish for the joy of the other as well as in the pridefulness of generosity leaves me ambivalent yet grateful.
Happy Holly Days
HOLLY DAYS 